Dead Inside
by herblackheartisbleeding
Summary: The dead walked. The world ended. My life changed. I became a shell of my old self. Relying on instinct and bullets. When I found the man that wasn't as dead as he should've been, my life changed, again.
1. Changed

The dead walked. The world ended. My life changed. I became a shell of my old self. Relying on instinct and bullets.

I walked the earth lonely. Days blurred into each other until I lost track of time. When I found the man that wasn't as dead as he should've been, my life changed, again.

As I walked through the hospital clutching my sawed off shotgun in my hands, I started to sweat. Being closed in made me nervous.

How could I know if walkers came in each exit, how could I know if I had a guaranteed way out. I didn't know that.

When I found the pharmacy, I kicked in the door and pointed my gun in front of me. After I saw that it was empty I bolted in and closed the door, locking it swiftly.

There were antibiotics, antiseptic, pain killers, and numbing agents.

"Just what I need." I whispered and took the bottles from the shelf.

I took an antibiotic, and a pain killer. I pulled my pants down to expose the cut on my leg. Fucking barbwire. I fell onto it trying to run through a farm.

The wound looked worse now, I cleaned it with the antiseptic and covered it for a second with gauze. I took the vile of lidocaine and stuck the needle into the top.

For a minute I tried to remember if it was 2mms or 3. After a few seconds I just guessed. I chose 3mms. I injected the skin next to my wound and waited a minute.

As I tapped the sides of the tore flesh, it felt numb. I grabbed the suturing equipment off of the desk above my head. I focused long enough to thread the needle correctly.

Then I started to sew my leg up. When I got halfway through I started to feel the effects of the pain killers. Dizziness, blurred vision.

"Shit." I spat trying to keep the needle steady. I finished the sewing as quickly as I could and fell on the floor.

* * *

><p>When I woke up I was not sure what time it was, or how long I'd been out. I just grabbed my things and walked out of the room.<p>

The hospital was mostly silent, but there was a thumping noise. As soon as I became aware of it I stopped and raised my gun. It was coming from inside a door.

The door had been blocked off by two stretchers. I moved them and inched closer to the door.

Maybe I should shoot through the door. No, what if it's not a walker. But, it has to be a walker. I braced myself and opened the door, and swiftly moved out of the way.

A man fell on his face. His skin was pale and he was very skinny. He didn't smell like a walker, or look like a walker.

"Hey, you?" I asked him, he groaned. Still unsure if he was a walker, I turned him over onto his back.

To my surprise and relief, he wasn't a walker.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked him. He groaned once more.

There were shuffling footsteps, hisses, and growls coming our way. I looked behind me. There were about seven walkers making their way to us.

I slid my shotgun into the room and took the man's hands. I dragged him quickly into the room and closed the door. I locked it and knelt to the man.

"Tell me your name." I whispered lightly touching his face. I grabbed a bottle of water out of my bag. When I turned back to him I tilted it to his lips.

"Drink this." I cooed. The man sputtered under the water at first, but then he started to drink it. As soon as he opened his eyes fully I took the bottle away.

After a few minutes he spoke.

"Where? Where am I?" He asked.

"In the hospital." I answered putting the cap on the bottle and placing it in my bag.

He closed his eyes again. I took the pillow off of the hospital bed and placed it under his head.

He was in his early thirties, he was handsome, and pale, and his eyes had dark circles around them.

"I got s-shot." He said dryly.

"Okay, well, we need to get out of here." I said as I walked around the room.

The window overlooked the parking lot, we were on the second floor.

"Why?" He sounded as if he was regaining his sense.

"Because, there is about seven walkers outside that door. When I open it, they will be coming. It won't be pretty and you can't be lying there." I muttered while I looked through the cabinets.

There was nothing in there. I took my nine millimeter out of my bag and loaded it. I sat the 9mm and the shotgun on the bed.

"What's your name?" I asked him.

"Rick." He sighed.

"I'm Scarlett." I said quietly as I went over to him.

"Rick, you need to get up." I held my hand out for him. After a few seconds he took it. I helped him up. His gown was open, I could see the bandages on his stomach.

When I had everything ready I put my ear against the door. There were no sounds, they must've walked on.

"Alright, Rick, we're going to need to move fast." I told him. He seemed so in his head that he hardly paid any attention at all. But he nodded.

"Here." I handed him the 9mm before I opened the door.

The walkers had went on indeed. The hall was empty.

Rick and I walked slowly down the hallway. There was another barred off door. Banging came from the other side of it as we passed. It said:** Do Not Open Dead Inside**

I found an exit and held the door for Rick. He stumbled down the stairs behind me.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked.

"The world ended." I spat as I reached the door to the outside. Rick's eyes were wide and his mouth was set in a frown. We walked to the back of the hospital.

There were bodies wrapped in sheets, laid out in perfect lines.

It had been the first time I had seen it. The rest of the bodies had been piled, their rotting flesh exposed.

But, with the sheets I found it more difficult to see. It meant, they were actually alive once.

Tears threatened my eyes. Rick stood speechless a few feet away. I took a breath and shook myself.

Stay alive, Scarlett.

"Rick." I called, he didn't move, he just looked from one line of bodies to the next.

"They're all dead." He breathed with a shocked expression.

I ran up to him and put my hands on his shoulders.

"Rick, we have to get out of here, okay?" I asked him, he looked at me and nodded. We walked down the road.

"I have to get to my house." Rick said, he started to sound normal.

"Where is it?" I asked him.

"Down the next road." He pointed to the next right turn. I would go wherever he'd go, I had been alone from the start of this thing, and I couldn't stand it. Plus, it was apparent that he needed my help.


	2. Families

As we approached the next street there was moaning, I had heard it so many times. The moaning, growling, hissing, and shuffling was the soundtrack of my new life.

I slowed down and looked over to see a legless, decayed, woman. Clawing up at us from where she lay. There was a bicycle next to her mangled body.

She was trying to crawl to where we stood. It was pitiful, especially because I knew she was once someone's daughter, maybe even someone's mother.

I thought of my mother, the sharp sound of the gun when it went off, it made it's way through my memory.

Rick was shaking me, he looked worried.

"S-sorry." I mumbled as I broke free from his hold. I started on my way once again. I hated the feeling of that night creeping through my head whenever I had reminders.

The street was empty, there were a few unmoving rotting corpses and debris scattered about. I could tell this was a nice neighborhood once.

Where manicured lawns with sprinklers and beds of flowers once laid, now was littered with dead bodies, unburied and putrid. Wrecked cars, fallen trees, trash, broken fences, and shattered windows.

Rick looked sick as he glanced around.

When he found his house he stopped and peered up at it somberly. After a few moments he ran inside.

"Lori? Carl?" He yelled. While he ran through the house I stood at the front door.

I knew that if they were still here, they'd be dead. There were so many murder-suicides when it happened, no wonder why it seemed like nobody was left alive.

After a few minutes I went in to find Rick. The house looked almost normal, the drawers were emptied and there were curtains on the floor, but that was about it. Rick was standing over a dresser looking down at a photo. There was no other discernable expression on his face, only sadness.

"My wife, my kid. They're gone." He whispered sadly.

"They probably went to a base, or a safe haven." I shrugged.

"Why aren't you looking for one?" He asked, looking at me with confusion.

"I'm not sure, every time I find a city or very populated town. It's filled to the brim with walkers. Out here it's quiet, hardly has any." I said uneasily.

The truth was that I had escaped from one, I got out alone before the explosion. The still silence after the blow still sounded in my worst nightmares.

When we walked out of the house there was a gunshot behind us. Before I could turn around I was hit once with a blunt object. I fell down and hissed at the pain.

"Daddy, I got two of um!" A boy yelled. A man walked up holding a gun. The sun glared off of his pistol as he raised it.

"What's that bandage for?" He asked Rick pointing the gun straight at him. Rick was out cold, I tried to sit up, but the man held the gun at me then. There is nothing more dreadful than having a barrel of a gun pointed between your eyes.

"What is it for!" He yelled.

"He got shot!" I yelled back. My hand found it's way to my swollen scalp. It started to itch unbearably.

The man put his gun away and held out his hand. Ignoring the man I scooted over to Rick and placed my fingers against his neck. His pulse was strong.

I stood wiping off the dirt that was riddled on the butt of my jeans, then I turned back to the man, he was grabbing Rick's feet.

"Help me." He demanded roughly, I nodded and took Rick's hands.

We carried him into the house next to his. As I looked back behind us, there was a herd of walkers shuffling towards us. All terribly gnashing and hungry. Their moans and growls were loud as they banded together to close in on the porch behind us.

When we finally made it inside the man dropped Rick's feet and slammed the door. There were five locks and he quickly locked them all.

This house was made to be a stronghold. Plywood covered most of the windows, except for a small piece in the middle of each for peeking. There were candles, and lanterns on the shelves.

The man picked up a two by four and placed it under the handle of the front door, he kicked it until it was tightly placed. The door was also reinforced by plywood, the peephole was still exposed.

"Let's get him to a bed." The man said quietly. I nodded, and took Rick's hands once more. The man led me down the hall to a guest room.

When we got Rick into the bed, I sat with him a minute. I placed his hands beside him and pulled the covers up to his waist. I sat down beside him on the bed and traced the bandage with my index finger. As I checked his pulse again, I really looked at him for the first time, without distraction. He was serene and gentle while he slept.

I knew that the new world hadn't pulled him into it's corrupting grasps just yet. He was almost a token of the old world, but he'd learn quite soon, what you had to be to survive.

Heartless, unaffected, and numb. That was who I had became in such a short time. What I would've given to die with the rest of my family. It was funny, I wanted to die with them, but I refused to die at that time. What was even funnier was that I still refused to die.

I held his hand for a silent moment, then I left him. Walking out into the hall where the man was waiting. He was leaning against the wall.

"You mind telling me why the hell you can't tell the difference between two live humans and two dead walkers?" I asked him holding my head.

"It's my son Duane who can't tell, I usually don't take him out." He huffed rubbing his face. I looked over at the young boy who was peeking over the couch that sat by itself in the dinge little living room. Automatically I felt bad, the kid was only trying to protect himself, who could blame him?

"I'm sorry, just haven't been hit that hard by a kid. He's got a hell of a swing." I smiled at Duane, he ducked back behind the couch.

"He's quiet." His father admitted giving me a weak smile.

"I was the same way once." I muttered.

The man told me his name was Morgan, I told him my name and Rick's name. I also told him how I found Rick. Morgan explained his panic over the bandage and offered me his room to rest. After the day I had, I accepted.

When I was alone I checked my leg. It was starting to look better. I took an antibiotic and a pain killer. Then I laid on the bed.

The sound of a car alarm awoke me. I was panicking, I grabbed my bag and rushed out of the room. When I heard Morgan talking, I relaxed and stopped in the hall. Rick was standing next to the door with Morgan.

"She died in the other room on that bed," Morgan said. "I should have put her down. I just didn't have it in me. She's the mother of my child." The pain in his voice was thick.

I walked into the living room where Duane was sobbing quietly. When I sat next to him he scooted down the couch a bit.

"You know, Duane, I lost my mother too." I said trying to keep the pain from my voice. After a few seconds he looked up.

"You did?" He asked wiping a tear from his left cheek.

"Yes, I did. It hurt, it still hurts. But, you have your dad, and let me tell you. In a time like this, that's a lot to have." I told him smiling. He wiped his other cheek and grinned.

"It is?" Duane asked, and I nodded.

"Well, you got Rick." He said patting my shoulder. I laughed a bit.

"I do." I said, looking into the hall where Rick stood. I knew he'd go to the end of the earth to look for his family, and I would follow.


	3. Broken World

The morning came on quickly and Rick was not where I had left him. I ran to the front door that wasn't locked. The two by four that was wedged under the handle was against the other wall. Rick and Morgan were outside.

Rick was beating a walker with a bat in the front yard. The look in Rick's face was fear, and trivial rage. He had a better idea of what had happened to the world. I suspected Morgan had told him.

Soon he'd see something that would affect him greatly. It would change his aspect of the broken world around him. No longer would it be controlled beatings of a walker and stories of what had happened. It would be right there in his face without warning.

It could be something small, or something earth shattering. But we all were entitled to an epiphany, whoever was watching, be it god or something more sinister wanted it that way.

As Rick heaved beating the walker beyond need, I waited next to the door with my 9mm.

When they came back in and Morgan locked up I put my gun on safety and tucked it into the back of my pants. I leaned against the wall and examined Rick's face.

He looked sick, but he was holding it back.

"We're going to the police station." Rick told me as he cleaned off the blood spatter from his arms.

"Um, okay, why?" I asked him, taking the rag from his hands and wiping his neck where the blood had landed.

"It's where the weapons are, and where my uniforms are." I had to wait a second before I registered what he had said.

"You're a cop?" I asked him, he nodded. Well, at least I was getting to know who he was.

When we reached the police station, it was abandoned. The fence was closed up around it and the front doors had dried bloody handprints on it. The inside was completely black.

We went around to the side and met a door, Rick tried it, luckily it was unlocked. The inside held that stuffed up smell, I could tell that this place hadn't been compromised from the lack of decomposing scents.

Rick went in the back and opened a locker. He pulled out a uniform, two undershirts, shoes, and a hat.

He was grinning a bit while he did so. He threw an undershirt my way. I smiled at him, it was about a size to big, but it was clean.

"The shower's have hot water." He said.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked with much skepticism.

"Nope." He said and turned the faucet, I ran my hand under the water. It was warm. I chuckled. There were so many things I missed. Hot showers being one of the most.

The water fell over me, washing away the dirt and dried blood from my body. When I was done, I felt, good. I took a pair of panties and a pair of slightly cleaner jeans out of my bag. I put them on and shook out my long light brown hair. I didn't notice when Rick walked in.

"What happened to your leg?" He asked. I jumped and turned to him. He seemed unabashed that I wasn't fully dressed.

"I cut it on barbwire the other day." I whispered unfolding my jeans. I felt blood rush to my color my pale cheeks a light pink.

"You sewed it up yourself?" He asked walking closer to look at it.

"Yes, that's why I was at the hospital." I huffed while I put on my jeans.

"You look to young to be a nurse." He said examining my sewed up leg.

"I'm eighteen, and I'm not a nurse, but my mom was a doctor. I read a lot of her medical journals when I was younger." Rick raised his brows.

"Oh." He said.

"I was a very isolated child." I sighed patting my wet hair with a towel.

"Well, it's good that you can do that." He said sitting on the bench.

"I can do other stuff, depends on if I have the right equipment." I shrugged, I was kind of a nurse, kind of an expert marksman, kind of a few things that seemed useless until the world ended.

"I'm going to Atlanta to find my family." Rick whispered looking at his shoes.

"Alright." I said while I put my things back into my bag. When I was packed I threw it back over my shoulder.

"Are you coming with me?" Rick asked eyeing me from where he sat.

"If it's alright with you, I'd be obliged." I smiled at him, Rick nodded and got up.

Morgan, Duane, and I followed Rick to a room. It was stocked with weapons, my eyes went wide. There had been several accounts where I had tried unsuccessfully to find new weapons.

There was a revolver that I just couldn't leave without. I walked up and slid my finger down the side of it. The metallic was like silk to me, I wanted to feel the kick in it when I emptied a bullet into a geek's forehead.

"Nice, huh?" Rick asked, I nodded with a ghoulish smile.

"Very nice." I murmured, Rick took it down and handed it to me. I flipped the chamber out and rolled it. Lovely.

Rick put most of the weapons in a duffle bag.

We all found ourselves outside looking at a walker that was grinding the fence. He was in a uniform, and he was gnashing at us from the other side of the gate. I kept my hand on my gun, but I left him so I could say goodbye.

"Keep yourself safe, and keep in touch." Rick said to Morgan and handed him a walkie-talkie.

"I will man." Morgan said reaching over to pat his shoulder. "We'll follow in a couple of days, after we learn how to shoot." He added.

I walked over to Duane and nudged his shoulder. He looked up with a smile.

"Wish me luck?" I asked him smirking. Then, as I wasn't expecting it, he hugged me. I felt bad that I had to leave him behind, but I knew Atlanta would be a bitch to get through. They were better off here.

"Good luck, Scarlett." He said letting me go.

"I know I don't have to wish you luck Duane, with muscles like that, and a brave heart. Well, you don't need luck." I whispered smiling down at him. After our farewell Morgan and Duane got into their vehicle and left.

Rick and I turned to the walker on the other side of the fence. I pulled out my shiny new revolver and aimed. I was a great shot, didn't need much time to line up a shot, and I could do it from pretty far away.

"Leon Bassett. Never cared much for him, he was careless. But, he doesn't deserve this." I didn't hear a slight bit of detachment in Rick's voice, he was still himself. I put my gun away and let Rick deal with it himself.

Rick walked to the fence and pulled out his gun. Within the next second, a gunshot rang in the air. Leon Bassett's corpse slid down the fence.

There was a barrier forming in Rick's emotions, but it was weak. I wanted him to stay like he was, but I knew it wouldn't turn out that way.

Rick and I got into the police car, and we were on a way to what would most likely be our death.


End file.
